she was a novel

her paperback cover so beautiful

he picked her up

looked inside

& to no surprise –

he couldn’t get past the first page

…

i am more than a star

in your midnight sky

i am the moon

guiding you through the night

strong enough to move the ocean tides

i am the sun

giving your trees life

allowing you to breathe

try to get too close

i’ll burn you

try too hard to see my beauty

i’ll blind you

…

what is it called

when all your fears

turn into reality

is it a coincidence

or are you afraid of the inevitable

…

you don’t worship her

because you know she lingers on your every word

you track dirt through her life

because you know she’ll sweep it up

but one day

your words will mean nothing

your dirt will be left un-swept

and you will wonder

what has happened to this girl?

what did i do?

this girl realized her worth

& you didn’t worship her

…

it’s not the

loving words you whisper

it’s not the

gentle traces across my back

it’s not the

way you take all the hurtful words away

with your tongue

it’s not the

way you hold me

when I have shattered

like glass

it’s the way I feel

with distance

your loving words bloom

into lust

it’s the way it takes

not having you here

for me to feel you

more than I ever have in your arms

…

it’s the way

 you trace your fingertips

on the small of my back

when i’m restless in the night

it’s the way

you turn and wrap your masculine arms around me

half asleep

half wanting to wake me up

and remind me who i belong to

it’s the way

you part your lips

when i trickle soft kisses down your broad chest

it’s the way

my name sounds

rolling off your tongue

it’s the way

your mouth tastes

of fulfilled promises

and kept secrets

it’s the way

you speak to God with me

when my faith shakes

it’s the way

you breathe love

into my hopes and dreams

it’s the way

your kind words

echo through my soul

when the world has not been so kind

it’s the way

after all this time

after all the heartbreak

you were what i was praying for

…

through all the

heartache

my heart still beats

for you

…

“we can’t keep doing this” she spoke, in soft defeated words

“hurting each other & calling it love”

they say you fight with the people you love the most

a part of me wants to just throw it all away

the bickering, cold shoulders

just walk away & never look back

then there’s another part of me that still has hope

the long, restless nights when you finally poured your heart out to me

the bright, early mornings thinking of every excuse i could to keep you next to me

the music filled car rides, our words in sync with that

never ending desperation for each other

the part of me that wants to take every sad story & put it in a box under my bed

the part of me that wants to keep fighting

the part of me that wants you to fight, too

the part of me that knows nothing would ever be that bad

as long as we had each other

the hardest thing is choosing

which part to listen to

…

she’s not delicate like a flower

she’s fragile like glass

she will not fall apart

then grow into something beautiful

she will shatter

and never be able to be put back together again

…

you can’t help

but love her

and all that she is

her deep brown eyes

like the soil grounding your trees

her delicate soft skin

thick like velvet rose petals

her soothing words

sweet like honey

mending the deepest scars on your heart

in her presence

you will wonder

how you ever lived without her

when the wind sweeps her away

you will search for her

in the deepest parts of the earth